Yes, the day is here when we dive into my daughter's closet and dream of how she's gonna look wearing these gazillion dresses I have bought for her. I also wanted to talk about attachment today. We sent out a letter to our family and friends and if you did not receive it I apologize. My address book is a mess and I don't know who's email is who's. So I will just sum it up here. When Bee finally comes home, she will not be the 9 month old we thought we would have, she will be 13 months. She will have formed an extremely close bond with her foster family. We have been waiting for her but she has not been waiting for us. To her, we will be complete strangers. So it will be a very hard transition for her. She will have to learn that we are her parents, that we will never leave her, and that she is safe with us. Showing her this will take some time and some extreme measures on our part. So when she comes home, we will need to be the primary caregivers at all times. We will not be allowing anyone else to hold her , feed her, bathe her, and change her diapers. This may be confusing for some of you, however we have been urged by our agency and our friends who have adopted to take her attachment seriously. Something as simple as passing a baby who is not "attached" from person to person can hinder her attachment process. We need to show her that she is not going to be taken away again and given to another set of parents. We do not know how long this process will take. It may take a few months or it may take much longer. So we really need all of your support in helping her attach and bond with us. If she reaches out to you, we ask that you please redirect her attention back to us. We will also be letting her regress and while it may look as though we are spoiling her, this is a very important part of attachment process. We need to meet her every need quickly and consitantly. We will be carrying her everywhere, feeding her instead of letting her feed herself, and letting her continue to use a bottle and a pacifier longer than we normally would. These are all ways that we can help her transition. We know that all of you have been waiting anxiously for her to come home as much as we have, so we would love for you all to come to the airport to welcome her home. I will be posting Jesse's flight info when we get it . Of course we are still about 6 weeks away from our travel call. We will not be allowing visitors for the first week so the 4 of us can get a routine down and get her on our time schedule. When we do allow visitors, it will be for very short periods of time. Thank you all for your love and support and prayers during these last 2 years. It has meant so much to us.
Ok, now on to the dresses.
OK, I know this isn't a dress, but it's still cute.
This one we actually got from a garage sale
Target. I swear that they specifically put things like this dress out so I will HAVE to buy them.
Her first Tea dress from my dear friend Audrey
And I leave you with our little hermit crab . Riley made him walk the plank. poor guy.:(
Have a good weekend everyone!
7 comments:
I always look forward to fashion friday! Of course I love all of the fashions (especially that little Tea number!)... but I LOVE the picture of the hermit crab! So funny!
I like what you wrote about attachment. Can I cut and paste this to email to my family? - just kidding. But you are right, I should probably start putting this message out there to my family so it is clear what everyone's role is in getting this girl in a good place attachment-wise.
Your son is so funny with his hermit crab! Cute!
LOVE the dresses!
Great way of putting the attachment stuff. We too are trying to convey the importance of attachment to our family members. It's really important. You did an AWESOME job.
Well written about the attachment! I may have to copy and paste from your blog when I write to my friends and family! =)
Diddo to what Sarah B said. I love the idea of sending out a note to family and friends and may copy what you had in the note. Nicely said and we are planning to do the same thing. I'm not sure if you saw my last post, I'm in the process of finishing this book, which I've really enjoyed, about parenting an internally adopted child and have found some great tips to help with connection and attachment. Oh - and I love the hermit/crab pictures...cracks me up every time I see them!
Love the hermit crab "walking the plank." Hilarious.
I'm so glad you posted about attachment... it's such a misunderstood issue, and I think it's so important to be upfront and honest with family and friends. Be prepared for people to ignore your requests, though. I hate to be Debbie Downer, but we had some very determined family members who, as soon as they saw our girl, forgot EVERYTHING we requested of them. At first, I gave in. Later, I realized my mistake and we had a lot of make-up work to do. So stay strong, mama, and trust your instincts.
I love the dresses and especially love the hermit crab walking the plank! My kids will get a kick out of that, I plan to show them later. :)
Thanks for the info on attachment. I've heard it but I'm not sure how to address it to family and friends. You did a great job! Thanks for sharing.
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