Everyone who reads this blog knows how long we have been waiting, and if I had known where our journey would lead us a year ago I probably would have ran away screaming. The first time we went through "the Wait" I was a mess. I was anxious and impatient and made myself miserable calling the State everyday to see when my boy was coming home. When he didn't I was devastated. I set myself up for it completely. What I never told anyone was that I knew in my heart that his mother would come back. That sounds crazy but it was always in the back of my mind. I would look at his picture and think, " How could anyone give this beautiful boy up?" He was so perfect. So when we found out it felt awful but it just wasn't meant to be. I have come a long way since then. My faith has grown so strong and I see everything through his eyes now. I learned that it wasn't up to me and I could not determine the outcome of our adoption journey no matter how much I wanted to. I learned to trust HIM and the path that he had chosen for me. So now as we are in the midst of "the Wait" again I am at peace. Amazingly I do not feel the need to call anyone or get anxious or freak out. I am comfortable and completely satisfied with not knowing when she will come. Of course I would love for that to be sooner than later, but it is looking like it will atleast be May . I KNOW she is the child HE has chosen for us so I'm not worried this time.
I have a lot of friends that are having a really hard time with "the Wait", especially because most of them have waited a LONG time. Some almost 8 months. I pray for them all the time. I hope that they receive peace and good news very soon. Hang in there girls, your babies will come home soon.
7 comments:
Thank you for your words of encouragement. I was praying today about this and God was challenging me to learn to long to see Him as much as I am long to see Joel during this waiting process.
What an amazing peace and grace you have Kara! I love your post and where you are with your life. God's blessings to you, your family, and especially precious little Bee!
You are such a strong person, Kara. Thank you for sharing this post.
Great way to think! I love your positive attitude this time around. I was with you while the first child's birth mommy decided to keep him. I love to see how you have really grownn through all of this!
Praise God
I'm so happy for you that you have peace with the wait. That's a difficult place to get to, but such a relief when you do. May the next few months pass very quickly for you.
You are so amazing Kara. To have that peace is unreal. I am happy for you and wish you the best I can not wait to see the pictures of your shower!
What a great post. I totally admire your attitude and faith. I know it can't always be easy, but you have a great outlook.
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