Thursday, October 22, 2009
Blaaahhhhh...
This morning I woke up feeling very blaaahhhh.... Tomorrow marks the 4th month we have been waiting and I'm just getting exhausted with all this waiting. It seems like we are always waiting for something. This time last year we were still waiting for Cameron's referral , and then we were waiting for his visa , and then for his birth mother's decision, and now we are back to square one again. I'm not angry and I know it will happen, I'm just starting to feel like I have a deadline again. The anniversary date of Cameron's referral is starting to creep up and that makes me feel like I have to get a referral before then That would be just awful to have to endure that day without another picture in my hand. I'm sure I could call any number of people to talk to and hear some positive encouragement from them, but I really just want to get "The Call". For the last week it's all I have been thinking about. I saw a dress yesterday and the thought of what she would look like in it popped into my head and then reality slapped me in the face. I really want to go the next step of waiting for her to come home. I don't want to be in this "waiting for her referral" party anymore. I just don't! I have prayed my heart out and I just don't want to be strong anymore. I just want to have a little hope ...just a little. I don't think that is too much to ask for, do you?
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6 comments:
I have been following your blog and even though I've never met you, I've realized that you are a strong person. You have been though so much and still hold a positive attitude. It's ok to feel the way you do. I'll be praying for you and your family to get a call very soon!
No, it's not too much to ask for. I can't believe it has been 4 months already. Whenever I'm having a difficult time with the wait, my mind always goes to you... someone I have never met yet someone who's strength I totally admire. I pray you won't be waiting much longer before seeing the little girl who will be wearing all of those beautiful dresses.
it is absolutely not too much to ask for! i think every emotion you have felt through this entire process is completely normal. i hope too that you have "the call" soon, and i can't wait to have "that call" from you when it happens!
Not. At. All. I find GREAT strength in you. I think I speak for many of us by saying that you have handled this whole thing with TONS of grace. I know I would be complaining constantly. Yet, you haven't.
You WILL have your little girl and I pray that "the call" will come VERY soon! Hang in there!
I'm sorry! Waiting hurts and it sucks and..... I just wish it would end for you.
It is horrible that it's been four months. I'm sorry you have had to wait so long. It seems like every time we turn around, there is a delay of something for some reason. I'm sorry you've had a blah week! I get it. Hugs!
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