Happy Birthday Bee

We had a birthday weekend. Saturday we went up to our Korean restaurant and met my mom, step dad, and my aunt. We had talked all morning about what time it would be midnight in Korea and we figured out it was 11am. So we had planned all morning to say Happy Birthday Bee at 11. Of course we were driving and totally forgot until 11:22 and then we looked at each other and said, "Happy Birthday Bee!". Our lunch was good but WAY overpriced. I guess on the weekend they only sell dinner and don't let you order from the lunch menu. So instead of my 9.95 bento box with bulgogi, shrimp tempura, and a California roll , I got a 19.95 bento box with no California roll. That doesn't make sense does it?  Anyways, they have the best bulgogi and I was in heaven. Saturday night we went to the beach to watch the sunset. It was nice except there were these little bugs biting us everywhere. Sunday Jesse was putting in an attic fan so I was going to take Riley to church by myself. We woke Riley up by singing Happy Birthday to his sister. He was NOT happy! He was very grouchy and said he wasn't going anywhere. But when I mentioned going out to breakfast that changed really quick. We headed out and had breakfast at P*nera Bread and had yummy muffins and then I headed to church with Riley and Jesse headed off to H*me Depot. At church he told his teacher that his sister was coming in 2 days. What?! So I had to tell her she was not. Everyone is very excited about our recent news . When we got home I sat outside on our swing and listened to this beautiful songbird in the yard. I just sat there and thought about Bee and how much fun it's going to be to have a girl. I am SO EXCITED! We could get that call in like 3-6 weeks!!! That is so close! Anyways, Sunday night we went on a date with our friends and went to our other favorite restaurant. I got to have my yummy pesto tortellini and then we saw "Date Night". That has to be one of the funniest movies! It was an awesome weekend!!

While it was a little sad not having her yesterday, I was very happy she was in Korea for her birthday. Many of you may not understand that ,so I will tell you why. When I was growing up, it was really hard for me to figure out who I was and where I came from. As an adoptee you don't usually have any info on your birth parents. The only thing I knew about them was that my mother was Irish and my father was Italian. That's it. So I tried to relate to those to things. Looking into my birthfamilie's cultures was the only way to identify with them. For Ashley, she will struggle even more with her identity because she looks nothing like us. Just by looking at her and then at us, everyone will know that she was adopted. I was white and with white parents so no one questioned whether I was adopted or not. They just assumed I was my parent's biological child.  For her, she may know that she is Korean but she will feel like she is American because that's where she will be raised. She may not know how to connect with her Korean heritage. That's why it is important for her to be in Korea for her birthday. Because even though she will be raised in America, she lived in Korea for her first year and had the traditional "Tol"celebration that every other Korean child has. That little thing might be the one thing that helps her identify with her Korean heritage. Does that make sense? To me it does, but I may not have explained it very well. This is why I am not a writer. I have trouble getting things from my head to the computer.

Anyways, in honor of her birthday and as we are talking about adoption I want to open the door for questions. For all of you adopting, is there any question that you have wanted to ask an adoptee? Please ask away, I am very open when it comes to talking about my adoption. If you prefer you can email me :
arakword@embarqmail.com . 
There are many things I could tell you all about what to do and what not to do. The biggest thing is ALWAYS let your child speak freely about their feelings on their adoption regardless of whether or not it will hurt your feelings. If they feel guilty about telling you how they feel for fear that you will be hurt, they won't talk. And that is the worst thing! Talk about adoption like it's just an everyday normal thing. I always tell Riley that there are 2 ways to have a baby,1. you grow a baby in your tummy or 2. someone else grows a baby in their tummy but can't take care of it so they let someone else adopt the baby and take care of it. Of course I don't think he really understands because he said yesterday, "Mommy, why did you adopt me?" . This comes from the kid who thinks that the way I gave birth to him was that I threw him up out of my mouth. Gross huh? He cracks me up.

So please ask away and I will do my best to answer all questions.

Me in love with my bulgogi

Jesse and Bink looking for fish

My friend Shalyn and I at my other favorite restaurant.