Dear Friends and Family

In the next 4 to 5 weeks, (around May 1st), we are expecting to get our travel call to leave for Korea to pick up our new son Cameron. As we prepare for the arrival of him, we have learned that while decorating his room and stocking up on baby essentials are important, even more important is the emotional health of our baby. In his short life, Cameron will have gone through more changes and life altering experiences than most adults could handle. Imagine how much harder the changes will be for him. While he may not consciously remember the events, there will still be a broken bond. He will still experience immense loss, including feelings of grief and trauma. He's already experienced the loss of a birthmother and will soon be experiencing the loss of his familiar and comforting caretakers as well as the sights, smells, and language of his birth country. His world will be turned upside down. He will struggle with feeling safe and secure and he may lack the initial trust that Kara and I will be able to meet his needs.We are prepared to do whatever it takes to meet his emotional needs so that he learns that we will always take care of him and we will always keep him safe. More than anything, we need your support. In order to form a strong and healthy attachment, we will be allowing him to regress, so that he has the opportunity to go through all of the emotional stages with us, his parents, despite his chronological age. Although it may appear that we are spoiling him, we have been advised that it is best that we meet his every need quickly and consistently. Until he has learned that we are his parents, we will need to be his primary caretakers at all times. It is essential that we always hold him, feed him, and do all of the nurturing. You may wonder how long this will take, but the timeline is different for every child. Sometimes this can take up to six weeks. We will follow his lead and trust our instincts as his parents rather than worry about what society expects.Even if Cameron looks like he really wants to be held by someone else, he needs to have a strong attachment to us, his parents, first. Something as simple as passing the baby from one person to another or allowing others, even family members, to hold a baby who is not "attached" can make the attachment process that much longer and harder. When we feel Cameron is ready to be held by others, we still may ask that you not to hold him for more than a minute. This is not meant to hurt anyone nor do we distrust anyone, but it is meant to help prove to Cameron who his mommy and daddy are. Up until now, Cameron's experience has been that Mommies and Daddies are replaceable. Allowing people to hold him before he has accepted his forever mommy and daddy can be detrimental to the attachment process. We have both been waiting anxiously for our son to arrive but he has not been waiting for us. Until I arrive in Korea, he doesn’t even know we exist. He may show his grief and confusion in many ways and we are prepared to help him through it and prove that we are a forever family and this truly is his last stop.

Kara will be sending out an update email with my flight information as we find it out. If you would like to join Kara at the airport to welcome Cameron home, we would love to have you there. We will be not allowing any visitors for the first week or so, as we will need to get settled in and try to get on a schedule that works with Cameron and Riley. As I am sure that many of you will have met him before hand, we do plan on having a big party in July for his birthday, and everyone will be invited to come and meet the newest member of our family. We trust that as our family and friends, you will help us to do what is best for our son, and we thank you in advance for your support and understanding.

Love,Jesse, Kara, and Riley